Coffee Bean.

As I've written before I recently have embarked on journey, employment.

*shivers

Damn. Now I only took this job because I had to make a deal with, my Father for a Playstation 3. Its been two weeks since I've started working part-time in Coffee bean. To sum up what we do is simple: Cooking, cleaning, brewing, blending, servicing, its all the same. There is no specialisation, a job that needs to be done can be done by anyone. Except for the managers they spend their time sitting on their ass doing paper work, while us 'baristas' or peons do most of the cleaning, brewing, blending, practically everything. This job, I was not suppose to be here. I was suppose to be in Subway!! Making sandwiches, who the fuck would have thought working in Coffee Bean would be such a huge pain in the ass.

From the moment I clock in, there is no sitting. Your always doing something and closing time is a bitch. Literally everything needs to be cleaned from the counter to the damned grease trap, the floor is mopped daily, and what makes matters worst is that we're given officially only thirty minutes to close up. Of course we try to start early, about three hours before closing but than the customers start to pour in at 9.30pm. If things don't get done, we work overtime. In the end, we still get paid peanuts. There is absolutely no bang for buck in this job. And if the district manager happens to come around and discovers our early initiative to clean he bones us. If we work too much overtime, they question us. All this shit, its pretty fucked especially for someone like me who reluctantly took the job, and the only reason I took it was because I was desperate for a PS3.

Most likely, I will quit. The reason for quitting is not because its too hard. Honest to God, the job is pretty easy to pick up. But repetition really kills it for me. Every night, its the same shit. Clock in, do some servicing, do some dishes, make some drinks all till 8PM. 8PM start cleaning, clean up the gourmet section, clean up the fucking toaster, all while still making drinks, servicing, and cleaning dishes. At the very end of the night, I stack the chairs, sweep the floor, and mop it later on. Now this is only my job. There are only two people doing closing excluding the manager who needs no count the money, do inventory, etc. Maybe working in Coffee Bean wouldn't be such a pain in the ass if it weren't so fucking understaffed.

Now the problem with all this Coffee bean (and most likely every other franchise in the world) is that everything, EVERYTHING is shipped in. From the pastries to the spaghetti everything is shipped in. When I mentioned cooking, I lied - its more like microwaving with a little presentation skills at hand.

Well anyway I'm trying to do some video gaming shenanigans. None of that reviewing crap though. Look forward to it, whoever you are.

Popularity.

Before, I never thought that popularity in school was anything serious, let alone real. It was something I thought only Western schools had. Well, I was wrong. The best part of it all was that I never knew about the struggles of popularity till now – two years after high school, and I heard it from someone else.

I don’t want to stretch on the details. So instead of writing about what someone told me, this article is going to be about…. stuff.

Popularity meant nothing to me. Not than, not now, and most likely not ever. In high school, what I can remember, apart from studying (what little I did) and extra curriculum activities was just watching anime, reading manga, playing games, and talking about all this with my friends. Thinking back I can only remember those sweet happy-go-lucky days – tomorrow was always a day away, today was always a carefree day. The far future was so far ahead it was irrelevant. Seeing my friend’s everyday, the world didn’t go beyond our own. Of course, today it’s different, but that’s another story.

Two years after high school I have become even more oblivious about popularity and face vale. The opinion of others meant little before, now they mean nothing to me. Here’s my philosophy, we are what we choose to be. No one can say otherwise. If someone demoralizes you, you bite, chew, swallow, and shit it out; or, you tell the bastard to go fuck himself. Both reactions are for two distinctly different groups of people; the first is for people you can learn from. The second is for the assholes that think they know better.

My belief is that the public is an uncaring piece of stone. What you do, what you say, it wont bother them, there will be no reaction. Unless, what you do happens to collide with the victim’s interest.

Till this day, from ten years ago (I hope I’m not exaggerating) I still remember what my good friend Arif once said – We we’re at McDonalds having lunch. I got tomato sauce on my shirt. I became embarrassed and tried very hard to get it off, after awhile, the movie we bought tickets for was about to show and I was still trying to scrub the stain off my white shirt. Than my friend Arif told me in a jovial manner, “Forget about it! No one is going to point and laugh. Nobody cares.” And so we went for the movie, and the tomato sauce was still there. The point is, nobody cares.

Those two words became my creed. And as I got older, these words just seem to grow stronger. Nobody cares. But wait – than should I not care as well? That’s an argument for another day. Just because nobody cares, should I do the same?

Its been awhile.

I've been busy, lazy, and eh lazier. So here's an update:

1. I got a PS3.

2. By getting a PS3 I was obligated to get a job (it was part of the deal that i made with my father).

Also most likely, I'll start reviewing games but it will be posted in 'Giantbomb.com', once I figure out how to record and photograph the video on my TV.

Now the main topic of this post: Identity.

Lao Tzu once said, "At the center of your being you have the answer; you know who you are and what you want.”

This quote hit me so hard in the head I starred at it in awe for at least a full minute. Every word sinking in, and the simplicity of its presentation made it all the more impressive. It was the answer to my stereotypical questions. In the end, I decided to follow my ambitions and dare I say it, my ‘heart’. I have always been a fan of story telling. Since forever, I’ve been interested in both the telling and creation of a story. Because of this above average interest, I’ve been heavily invested in many different mediums for storytelling – books, manga, anime, games, television, and movies. Of course anyone can say the same. But for me, every waking hour of free time is spent on one of these ‘vices’. I hate it and love it at the same time. And my excuse for continuing this God forsaken habit is the famous line, “I need material and references that’s why I’m doing this. Its for the book I’m writing.” But when I get on this chair, on this desk, on this laptop, and start writing the first one or two pages, I realize that my English is poor, my technique is weak, the scenes so vividly imagined in my mind seem bland on paper. I become frustrated and decide to post-pone this project.

I admire creativity, writing, drawing, and playing music. I really admire these people who do it professionally and do it well. If I could draw, I would have pursued a career in art. Alas, it’s just not in the cards.

Ever since my A-Levels ended I’ve been in a scramble to apply for further education and choose what degree to pursue. I’ve been torn between finance (and law) and software engineering. Thinking about the future is scary. On one end I’ll end up on the corporate side of life, on the other the possibility of working on games or, ending up as a drone for some software company mindlessly typing code after code, line after line, debugging, and whatever else.

This raya , my uncle came and he said the most peculiar thing. Talking about my educational future, he told me of the riches to be had by taking finance. And, of course I was happy to hear about how well the market is for the degree I’m pursuing. However, it got me thinking. Is money all there is to this world? Than like a whirlpool I remembered my reasons for taking accounting, and now finance. They we’re just back ups for what I really wanted to do. I wanted to write, I wanted to write professionally. Getting a degree was just a safety net.

These few months I’ve been neglecting my writing, neglecting my reading, neglecting my passion. Money isn’t everything, not to me it is just a means of survival and freedom.

Lao Tzu, he was a fucking genius, no doubt. I’ve never heard of a famous asian writer, but hey; its better to try and fail, get stomped, raped, burned, and fucked than never to try at all right? …..RIGHT??!! I am so boned.

Classical Music.

I earnestly believe no one in this world can ever hate classical music. Unless he or she we’re to have been indoctrinated to revolt it, or have been emotionally scarred by taking music lesson unwillingly as a child or is simply born a douchebag. You may not love it, worship it, or hold it in high regard, but I’m sure no one hates it.

I myself love classical, although I have only an odd thirty songs in my iTunes (mostly Beethoven, Mozart and some Rachaminoff).

What I’m trying to point out is the fact that liking Classical Music does NOT, I repeat, does FUCKING NOT, make you any better/ superior/ smarter/ holy fuck I’m awesome shit, to anyone else. Some people think that listening to classical music, and reading books constitutes to a better intellect. No. Intelligence is not measured by what we do in our past times, it is not measured by the quality of the company we keep, nor is it measured by our academic achievements. It is simple, higher intelligence = faster, easier – learning. And geniuses, well they teach themselves and that’s a whole new ball game.

Well that’s what I think. Just wanted to say, people who listen to classical music are not any different than those who don’t. Better taste maybe, but that’s all.

Note: I’ve been neglecting this blog. Fuck me. You know it’s so damn hard to find a topic let alone write at length. Of course there are those emotional shit people that drone when they feel depressed or just decided to whine the fuck onto the internet; everyone experiences hardship you're not the only dyke in the fucking universe who's panties are in a knot.

I’m not like that, when life kicks me in the balls; I kick back, or just do this _|_.

And another thing, I'm gonna start putting pictures into this damn blog. Its so damn boring even to me. You know no one might even be reading this but, a wise guy once said, "Nothing ventured, nothing gained."

So I'm 'venturing'! Huahahahahaha

SHOUT OUT TO ADEL! Good luck at Canada and give em’ Hell!