I am the Boss! ME! Numero uno!

It’s been roughly a month since I left home and living on my own, well not really. Living in a hall or dorm is quite different, annoying sometimes, interesting other times. I mean you get to meet new people and all that shit which happens to be more boring than interesting but that’s not the point, living alone is awesome. I am my own boss, I cook what I want, I buy what I want, I get up on my own with no one there to pike my ear with screams of tardiness, I do my own laundry. Sure, most of these are chores but the freedom of doing things on my own is – liberating.

Maybe the mundanity of it all just hasn’t settled in yet. It baffles me, as to why I love this lonely situation. I’ve heard stories of people suddenly bursting into tears at random during the night, or being all homesick, most don’t I presume. For me, well I’m LL cool J with this shindy.

I like the quiet; of course everyone is asking the same fucking question in the most nagging tone imaginable, “Have you made any new friends?” Or, “Have you gotten Laid?!” Or, “Do you like the taste of my cock?”

Woah – wait, cancel that last bit.

The fact is; friend is a term I coin quite rarely I’ve met a ton of people more than I can remember till I’ve resigned myself to call anyone I recognize but can’t remember his name ‘dude’ and for girls address them with “Hey..... you.....” Friends, as far as I’m concerned I got maybe ten friends at most. Because to me a friend isn’t just some douchebag I go have fun with or talk to. It’s deeper than that; a friend to me is someone I care about. Someone I’d help and he/ she need only ask and I’d demand nothing in return, except maybe his soul or eternal loyalty as my slave. Everyone else is just someone I know, some better than others but still only less than strangers. That’s why I hate facebook so much, that: Add a friend thing just grinds my gears. I mean most of the people I see on facebook are not my friends and I’m pretty sure they don’t give a fuck about me either, the feeling is mutual. So when someone has a friend list of over five hundred – well buddy, the more facebook friends you have, it don’t add inches to your dick. Wait, what if that someone was a girl? Well I guess the more facebook friends you have won’t make you a hermaphrodite.

Just so you can make fun at me I have 90 something ‘friends’ on facebook. I did not add any of them (well maybe a few, like 5), they added me and I remembered their face then accepted. Of course I’m not trolling on the popular facebook people, Hell I’m impressed. I mean I don’t have the gall to add every single Tom, Dick, and Harry I recognize somewhat. The fuck shit that people write on their facebook status is hilarious but it is more annoying and irritating when the fella is a total douchebag. Thinking about it, maybe I should fucking troll facebook. I mean I don’t give a rat’s ass about their opinion on me. Especially when I’m thousands of miles away from 90% of them – that, gives me an idea!! What if I troll the fuck out of a game, social network, or something and then write a blog post about it! Pure genius! I’m a mother fucking genius! Look forward to that!

Living alone has awoken my love for cooking. Man, I love to cook. So maybe I’ll document some of that on this blog. I forget, what the fuck was the point of this post?

Final note, I think I’ve read maybe one or two books so far this year. Which is really pathetic, I heard Oprah read one book a week when she was a kid. I guess I could do that, I mean come on Oprah did it!